a fly in a cup of milk...

as i live another day,i think to myself,has my life back in Malaysia just got flushed down the toilet..
well it might be a possibility..
friendships lost
contacts gone and never to be found..
is this what happens when you move to somewhere else..
it has almost been a year since i came to Australia.I still can remember me in school trying to get the most of my work done and to be in a higher grade..
passing all my exams and sometimes having even sleepless nights..
who would have thought after all that hardwork,I would be left all alone..
To tell you the truth,it wasn't part of the plan at all...
those promises of still being together no matter what..all worth nothing..
i miss the laughs,the smiles,the fun we use to have..
slowly one by one moves further and further away from each other..not sticking together like what we said we would..
as i arrive in australia on my first day of school,i said to myself..i would never find friends,true friends that stick together through thick and thin,true friends that will hang with you no matter what, true friends that care..
now,it's all gone..
both my homes and both friends from both my homes are gone..
everyone parting away..as a kid who has no one to relate to and is the outcast of the whole group,is left all alone on her own..
friends that seem nice and friendly might not be what they look like....
after a whole 10 months in Australia and now towards my 3rd trip back home..
i realize that I am not happy anywhere..and it makes me question myself,why was i born..why am i a part of a family of brains..why do i exist..Am i even part of the family or was i just adopted when i was a baby...
As i step into the school grounds,i look around me and all i see is white kids...
in history one day,we were talking about the white australian policy and how they treated immigrants..
i was feeling different,feeling like a stranger to everyone around me..
a quote from Michael Oher,The Blind Side; "I look around me and all I can see is white,White walls,white floors and white people,Lot's of them"
this quote had really made me feel like knowing more about him..
when i hang with my so called friends, i seem to be like a fly in a cup of milk...
nothing here is by choice,everything has to be done on your own..but when you have no one to really help you..what's the point..

Is happiness everything?

yes,is it everything?Happiness can't be found under a rock just like that.
where does true happiness come from?
does it come from love?
from friends maybe
what about family?
Those are the possibilities of where happiness can come from.
but honestly true happiness comes from a right relationshiop with God.
This was what I got during Religion in school today.
I think this is meaningful cause I've been in a really depressing mood since I came back from Malaysia.
Its been more than a month since i came back and I was never able to figure out why.

Anyway, I joined Tournament of Minds last term and when I came back I was told by my friend that I had missed 4 meetings and I have another 4 weeks to get myself ready with the team.
was an epic 4 weeks but we were able to win
This is what i had learnt from it all
Extra info guys!!
there is a lost city in Madison,Wisconsin.
the natives of the lost city is called the ho-chunks!!!!
and they are awesome!!!!!
well honestly i dont really know much about them but i can tell you about our journey..
well,1st we had our regionals at a school here in Orange and we won that since we were only against another school
then after 2 weeks with the same problem given as before,we made our way to syndey on the 11th of September.
we stayed a night and i stayed with the most awesomest girl meg collis...
then the big day came...
there was soo many schools around..it was just madness...
you can even hardly hear yourself because of the noise level of thousands of people talking..
we waited patiently and as the time came...
it was our turn..
a nerve wreck it was..
the shock of our life and the most fun as well....
but too bad we lost....we did do pretty well i guess..we actually got 4th place among 12 schools...
it was our first time too so we live and we learn...
and it ended for us..till next year we will wait....
the same team members minus 2 due to the amount of year 7s we have to take in..
was fun,was worth all the time we spent..
those lost lunches and recesses...and after school activities..
and now that it is over,all of us try our hardest to still keep in contact and still treat each other as a family...

study time...see ya!!!
=D
♥