The new addition...

Well,for the past week,my room have been 100% unused cause of the work being done and things built...
It's almost a complete mess bit its almost over and hopefully im able to sleep on my really soft bed...
It's amazing how something is made from scratch..a few pieces of wood nailed,glued and screwed in together could make something pretty...
I got a pichah taken so yea...
It's a wonderful addition to the room..so now I can study somewhere other than my bed without falling asleep..
I love it cause I feel like my room is almost complete..

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A question always asked

So,I know I've not been writing and totally abandoned my blog..
But it has been busy..anyway,have you ever been asked what you wanna be in your future...
Well,I certainly have and I always don't have an answer..but dad asked me today,and I said a chef or musician or baker..
And he like any other Asian parents would say why don't you be a doctor like me and your mum..
I was totally speechless for awhile cause he always says that we should do something we love and I did choose..I gave suggestions..
But no he still wants me to be a doctor which I think is bullocks..
Anyway....dad asked me bout my choices..first was the chef/baker and it went like this...
Dad: what if you don't succeed.what if you are not good enough and the stuff you make turns out to be shit..
Me:well you are eating the cookies I made not long ago and you even complemented me on how yummy it was...
It was rather hypocritical..
Then was the musician...
It was a fight on this one cause he says that I am not good enough for the music industry...that I make no sense when I start jamming on my guitar or ukulele..
But yet again he still brags about my talents...its weird...
Next he compares my suggestions to a doctor and gave me a bloody half an hour lecture about why I should be a doctor..it was at 11pm and I was tired as...
Then,he suddenly thought of a story of why I should be a doctor..no wait,a surgeon actually from when I was a lil kid...
I mean honestly,I was a kid...I don't even remember half the stuff that i did..
The story was funny which is a plus cause I laughed so hard,I started choking on my milo..
Well,it goes like this..since my dad is a doctor,he had his own clinic..and apparently when I was 5 or 4,I would always have a battle with dad about if whether I could go to the clinic with him..but his answer was always "no" and mine would always be "I want to follow"..I'll say it repeatedly until he let's me go with him..
I go to the clinic after kindergarten,after lunch hours,after dinner breaks...i literally spent my childhood there..
Now the reason he gave me to why I should be a surgeon was cause I watch all of the surgeries that dad use to do..
People!!!I was fucking 5 years old!!!!I think I was just curious to what was behind the curtain.
Oh and apparently,when I was there I use to help out the nurses by them telling me to take some sort of medication from dads room..
Eventually,my suggestions were blown to pieces and was replaced by new ones that were off the medical industry such as a surgeon,a doctor,a nurse or a dentist ..
I have no idea where dentist came from but yea...
Plus,he spent an hour looking up universities for me to go to when I choose to do any of those suggestions given to me...
In the end,I went to bed tired and really didn't give a fuck of what just happened...

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IM'MA FAIIIILLLLL!!!!!

as my last post states....it was close to exam time.....
and i am writing this post in the mids of after exams and before exams..cause now is the summer holidays....
as the days went by after the exams..i keep thinking that I am sure to FAIL!!
so,one day as I was in History Class,my teacher cried out.."well,I've marked your Geography but not yet of your history...everyone did a good job"
I thought to myself..when pigs are able to fly,then would i only be believe that i did good..
so she continued.."i will be walking around the class,if you want to know your marks ask me"
and soo curiously..I asked her..
and she told me my marks..I was hyperventilating when I knew my results...
and the thing is I had failed which was the cause and then,I cried..but I tried really hard not to cry...
from then,she took me out of the class and comforted me...I felt better after but I knew that I had failed and the fear of not being able to stay in the 1st class had came over me..
then as days go by and results known every single day...I had cried and cried in worries of not being able to succeed in 2011..
it is over now and the question if am i still in the first class bothers me...

I'm Out!!=D

it's almost time

been too long since i've been on..
my blog feels kinda dead right now actually..
anyway,it is that time again..
where books,notes,teachers,a quiet room and a nice cup of coffee or tea to keep us awake are our most bestest friends on earth..
The countdown has started. Study guides given out. Internet usage is scarce.
THE PRESSURE IS ON!!
As it is around 3 weeks till the big day which is the first day of the final year exams.
soo much to study and still so little time.
dad has been on my tail since the beginning of the month because of the exams.
it just feels like he is even more worried about my exam than i am..
eventhough i am pree' keen about my studies..(i think)
i havent been putting much effort into it..
sometimes i think it is just too hard...
studying isnt my thing in life..
having to sit on a chair and to read notes over and over again just makes someone feel sleepy and draggy....
it is just soo stressful..
i dont wanna complain but it's tooo hard and i dont like it...
*sigh*
wish God had made me smarter or something...

a fly in a cup of milk...

as i live another day,i think to myself,has my life back in Malaysia just got flushed down the toilet..
well it might be a possibility..
friendships lost
contacts gone and never to be found..
is this what happens when you move to somewhere else..
it has almost been a year since i came to Australia.I still can remember me in school trying to get the most of my work done and to be in a higher grade..
passing all my exams and sometimes having even sleepless nights..
who would have thought after all that hardwork,I would be left all alone..
To tell you the truth,it wasn't part of the plan at all...
those promises of still being together no matter what..all worth nothing..
i miss the laughs,the smiles,the fun we use to have..
slowly one by one moves further and further away from each other..not sticking together like what we said we would..
as i arrive in australia on my first day of school,i said to myself..i would never find friends,true friends that stick together through thick and thin,true friends that will hang with you no matter what, true friends that care..
now,it's all gone..
both my homes and both friends from both my homes are gone..
everyone parting away..as a kid who has no one to relate to and is the outcast of the whole group,is left all alone on her own..
friends that seem nice and friendly might not be what they look like....
after a whole 10 months in Australia and now towards my 3rd trip back home..
i realize that I am not happy anywhere..and it makes me question myself,why was i born..why am i a part of a family of brains..why do i exist..Am i even part of the family or was i just adopted when i was a baby...
As i step into the school grounds,i look around me and all i see is white kids...
in history one day,we were talking about the white australian policy and how they treated immigrants..
i was feeling different,feeling like a stranger to everyone around me..
a quote from Michael Oher,The Blind Side; "I look around me and all I can see is white,White walls,white floors and white people,Lot's of them"
this quote had really made me feel like knowing more about him..
when i hang with my so called friends, i seem to be like a fly in a cup of milk...
nothing here is by choice,everything has to be done on your own..but when you have no one to really help you..what's the point..

Is happiness everything?

yes,is it everything?Happiness can't be found under a rock just like that.
where does true happiness come from?
does it come from love?
from friends maybe
what about family?
Those are the possibilities of where happiness can come from.
but honestly true happiness comes from a right relationshiop with God.
This was what I got during Religion in school today.
I think this is meaningful cause I've been in a really depressing mood since I came back from Malaysia.
Its been more than a month since i came back and I was never able to figure out why.

Anyway, I joined Tournament of Minds last term and when I came back I was told by my friend that I had missed 4 meetings and I have another 4 weeks to get myself ready with the team.
was an epic 4 weeks but we were able to win
This is what i had learnt from it all
Extra info guys!!
there is a lost city in Madison,Wisconsin.
the natives of the lost city is called the ho-chunks!!!!
and they are awesome!!!!!
well honestly i dont really know much about them but i can tell you about our journey..
well,1st we had our regionals at a school here in Orange and we won that since we were only against another school
then after 2 weeks with the same problem given as before,we made our way to syndey on the 11th of September.
we stayed a night and i stayed with the most awesomest girl meg collis...
then the big day came...
there was soo many schools around..it was just madness...
you can even hardly hear yourself because of the noise level of thousands of people talking..
we waited patiently and as the time came...
it was our turn..
a nerve wreck it was..
the shock of our life and the most fun as well....
but too bad we lost....we did do pretty well i guess..we actually got 4th place among 12 schools...
it was our first time too so we live and we learn...
and it ended for us..till next year we will wait....
the same team members minus 2 due to the amount of year 7s we have to take in..
was fun,was worth all the time we spent..
those lost lunches and recesses...and after school activities..
and now that it is over,all of us try our hardest to still keep in contact and still treat each other as a family...

study time...see ya!!!
=D
♥